I am fired up! It has been a long time that I have felt this fired up, this lit up, this excited!!! I want to share an experience for you....something that happened to me, something that has NEVER happened to me before, something that has changed my life (I know I can't believe that it is even possible to KEEP having moments like this but I do and they are always a surprise and always kick-ass).
I am going to share one of these miracles with you!
I have been really good at learning acceptance. I work hard at it and I preach it from the mountain tops! I work hard and I put my heart and passion into what I do...I truly love it. BUT I have been feeling that I have been doing just what is necessary. Just enough to create buzz and enough to get people excited but NOT enough to push me over the edge, not enough to put myself into really hard positions because I have been too damn scared, not enough to make me really uncomfortable which is one of my goals this year...to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. So I learned to just be OK with how things played out, to accept that this is my life, to accept that people were going to treat me a certain way, accept that I just needed to show some class and be the bigger person and basically roll over. I have accepted that some people will talk negative and I have accepted that some things wont work out no matter how much you plan and prepare, I have accepted that LIFE HAPPENS. (all of this is good and important by the way.)
Well I am here to tell you that I learned another amazing thing while I was on my cruise.
Hustling Bitches Get Shit Done!
I have watched and admired my #soulmagic team for years. Watched amazing women do amazing things, watched them work and hustle and network and put themselves out there and NOT make excuses, no matter how justified, to get the stuff done that was important to them.
They didn't always accept the way things were, they asked and they looked and they looked again and they demanded and they showed up and they manifested miracles and they created LIFE. ALL JUICE!
I spent months preparing for our cruise. I spent months ordering the perfect items, months hand creating the perfect journals that went hand in hand with the workshops that I wrote for a year, I spent months tagging everything, adding glitter, writing personal messages and putting the little details into every last item making sure that it was just perfect. I spent months reaching out to vendors and having product shipped so that the perfect items were included in their gift bags and daily devotionals.
I boxed up these items, wrapped them and protected them and I shipped them off. I sent them to the hotel so that they would be waiting for me when I showed up.
Two boxes sent. One box delivered.
As the days ticked by and my departure date got closer the panic started to kick in. "just wait until end of day for them to update scans" one lady told me. "I know it left the Provo office just like I know the sun comes up" another woman that doesn't even work on the Provo office told me. "It will show up and get scanned at some point, worse case you will get it when you get off the boat in a week" one man told me as I bawled uncontrollably on the phone.
All of these things I was told that I just had to accept. That this was how it was going to play out and I just had to be OK with that.
I was devastated. It was totally out of my hands. I had made all the phone calls, filed all the correct forms and requests, it was sent to the proper research teams and that was that. I could not do anything about the missing box.
So Plan B started to take shape.
My husband is a SAINT. I know you have heard me talk about him very openly, the love and passion and support that he shows...not just for me but for this community. He knew my heart was broken, he knew how hard we had worked, he knew the importance of this work.
So the night before I was supposed to fly into Long Beach, after driving me and the kids 12 hours to Arizona, he took me to Walmart, he took me and with our last few bucks in the bank we purchased new journals so that the women would have something to work in during the week, and we purchased folders so that the women would have a place to store all of their worksheets and devotionals until I was able to retrieve the box and ship it to them post-cruise.
I couldn't replace the gifts, or the vendor items, or the swag bags but I could do the best with what I had. I was finding acceptance, breathing deep and making it work!!
As I set up the table for our Welcome Dinner on Sunday evening I found myself crying once again. The tables looked good. They were fun and bright and inviting. There were lots of gifts still to give and the women were excited....but I just knew that it wasn't as good as it was supposed to be.
I shared during the dinner what had happened. I tried to spin it into a life lesson...that sometimes LIFE happens and things that are totally out of our control will throw a wrench in our journey but we just have to accept and keep pushing through...(again all of this is true and very good advice...it was a great life lesson).
The women were wonderful and so understanding. Maybe if I hadn't even said anything they wouldn't have known the difference. They were there with open hearts and were just grateful to be there and to be taking this journey.
We went through our first workshop on Sunday evening and they wrote in their $1.00 Walmart Plan B journals and they put their worksheets in their folders that I had bought the night before. It was just as powerful, just as important and just as effective.
Monday morning is always a little crazy as we prepare to get to the shuttle and get on the boat. It is a scramble to get proper luggage tags attached, the group gathered, carry-ons ready, documents in a place of easy access, checking out and more. The Welcome Dinner was over, the gifts that we had were given out. We were giving ourselves permission to do the work and we were ready to embark on this week long adventure!
As I was talking to my sweet husband, as he was showing support and telling me to shake it off, to get present and get ready I received a text.
This was the VERY first scan update that I had received since I had delivered the package to the post office in Utah. The package was IN LONG BEACH, just scanned in to the facility waiting to get on a truck to go out for delivery.
The shuttle was coming to get our group at 10:00am.
I was freaking out!!!
Now I have to tell you that normally I would have just said "oh good, at least I know that when I get back on Friday I will be able to get it and give the ladies their stuff before they all fly home." I got online, found a number and called the facility that was closest to the hotel. (there were SEVERAL post office buildings in Long Beach.)
No answer. several times, no answer. It was past opening business hours. ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE!
Again thinking that I could just wait. I was glad that I knew where the package was. I would deal with it when I got back.
Keep calling. No answer.
Finally I call another facility and get to talk to LYNN. God Bless Lynn. She hears my story, she hears my tears through the phone. She tracks the package. We know that the package is AT the facility by the hotel, she puts me on hold........she calls, and calls........no answer.
Heart racing, excitement, fire, HOPE!!!!
My dearest friends, Sarah Noelle and Emily is Amazing tell me that there is no way in hell that I am going without them. We tell the group to hang tight, to pack up their stuff, eat breakfast and we will be back in time to grab the shuttle with them!
We pile into the car and head down the street....freaking out, giggling, sweating.
I am so nervous. What if they tell me NO.....NO we can't help you, NO we can't get the package for you, NO it is not here! Everything about this situation had me screaming!!!
We pull up in front of the post office and run inside. They can not help us at the counter. We run around back (I know we should have listened to Lynn but I couldn't remember my own name at this point.)
We sprint around back and see all the trucks lined up, waiting for the mail, waiting to deliver packages...MY PACKAGE to the destination!
The manager walks out. She hates me immediately.
I was NOT taking NO for an answer. I knew that my package was there and I was NOT leaving without it. I was strong and forceful and maybe a little bit of a witch but I was going for broke...I had NOTHING to lose!
She took my tracking receipt and told us to wait. And so we did.
When the manager walked out holding my box I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I hugged her and kissed her and told her that she just helped create the GREATEST miracle. Against all her instincts a smile cracked on her face!!!
We went screaming and skipping down the ramp. And when I got to the bottom I sat on the ground with that box in my lap and I sobbed. I shouted prayers of gratitude and my heart was bursting!
I know this sounds like a small thing. Maybe it is.
I have never in my life fought for something like that. I have always just accepted the outcome that was presented to me and figured out a way to make it work.....not this time. This time I hustled and I worked and I manifested what I wanted and I got it done!
I was ON FIRE. I was lit up! I was shown for the first time ever that if there is something that I truly want that I can find a way to make it happen.
Not everything in this life will give us options like this, not everything will crack a door back open after it had been shut....but man when it does BE READY TO GET SHIT DONE!
As we walked around the corner, package in my arms we looked up and hanging on the light post was a banner, from November 2014. It was a banner about ADOPTION.
I sobbed. Again.
As I prepared to sail with 9 Birth Mothers and 1 Birth Grandma I was floored by the signs and reminders from my Father in Heaven that what we were about to do was important and life changing and of great value and I would have never seen that or recognized that if I wasn't willing to hustle that morning.....
I was finally showing up for what I had been "saying that I believed in" all this time.
More action in my life, more fight, more MOXIE, more being uncomfortable!
Is the Juice worth the Squeeze?? Hell yeah it is!
Ashley Mitchell, BTG Owner