My twin girls are 4 and my son is almost 2 years old. November 2013 was the epic Disney animated movie release of yes, you guessed it Frozen. Now thanks to Disney if you have children that are ages…say 2 through I don’t know 10. Who am I kidding it doesn't matter what age you are, most of us are now what I call “Frozenholics”. We might finally be on the downward slope of all things Frozen everywhere but let’s be for real for a minute. You loved the song “Let It Go”. Every time I hear the phrase let it go I can’t help to think of the song.
This post, however is not about the movie Frozen, nor the song. It goes much deeper.
The definition for “let go” on urbandictionary.com states,
“To let your frustrations, anger, etc. go and not let it stress you out like it has been doing. Letting go means you don't have to stress over whatever you're letting go anymore. The feelings tied with what you're letting go may still hold a place in your heart, but it is better to let whatever it is go and get on with your life than to let it hold you down and depressed.”
Almost exactly a month ago now I was on the 2015 BTG Soul Cruise. It was nothing short of magical. I have such a love and appreciation for the 9 other woman I met, cried, laughed, dreamed, shared, hugged, and fellow-shipped with will be something I will always carry in my heart.
We have heart wrenching workshops that made me ponder and search my very soul for answers.
My favorite and hardest workshop was the day we went to Catalina Island. We could not of asked for a more perfect day with perfect sunny warm weather. As we gathered as a group on the beach, Ashley shared some more of who she was and her story and explained how we all have something that we are holding on to. Adoption related or not, that is weighing us down. That doesn’t need to be with us anymore. Guilt, shame, anger, sadness, hurt, or pain caused by others or our own doing. Our job is to learn from those experiences and life lessons, take what we need from them and then to let all the other garbage go.
She handed us all a sheet of parchment paper and an empty glass bottle with a phrase attached to it that read- she took a deep breath & let it go. For me, it was one of the most simply profound and powerful words I have ever read.
Our next task was to go off by ourselves and think about something that we needed to let go of. Write it on the sheet of parchment. Roll it up and put it into the glass bottle.
I chose an event associated with my adoption story that took place in the delivery room 6 ½ years ago. I let this hurt and anger stay with me for so long I couldn’t see how weighed down I had become bitter about it and you know what, I bet the person I am angry with doesn’t even have a clue about it.
Lastly, we were to take our bottle and throw it into the sea or bury it there on the shore. To mentally and physically let the garbage from our experience go and not let it affect us anymore. Walking along the shore there was a stone wall....
It was one of the most awesome experiences I have ever been a part of. I got to witness these other brave women cast their garbage into the sea and become better people for it.
Now don’t get me wrong, it was a lot easier said than done to let go of those feelings from that experience that was so long ago, but when I talk about it, it feels like it was just yesterday. It takes a conscientious effort to let go but let me tell you my dear friends it is so worth it. A great and wise man that I look up to said this about my experience- don’t you know holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Well I have never looked at it that way before but he was absolutely right.
So I today I challenge you to think about an experience in your life that you can let go of. Learn what you need to learn from it and let the rest be history as they say. Maybe there is someone you can make amends with and forgive. Maybe you need to forgive yourself. Whatever it may be feel it out, write it down.
Then take a deep breath and just let it go. You will be so much happier. I promise. I know I am.
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